igen. It’s been a while! If any of you are still alive out there, apologies for my sporadic updates.

These past few months I’ve been living through a succession of countdowns, with both J and I flinging ourselves back and forth over the North Sea whenever a timer reached zero. It’s been 143 days since I left for midsommar in Sweden, 62 days since I came home – and now, just over 20 days until we’re off again! I say “we” because when I caught my plane home back in September, J was in tow; towards the end of the summer, we both found ourselves in a rather strange state of limbo, tossed out of the back end of our schooling lives with no real plans for the foreseeable future. So I decided to drag him back to England with me.

Since then we’ve essentially been living what some may call a ‘life of leisure’, most days consisting of TV show marathons, lolling around and eating way, way too much food… but honestly, I’m getting more than a little tired of it. It reminds me this nugget of pessimism wisdom I came across a few years back:

Three stages of life:

  1. Teen age: have time & energy, but no money
  2. Working age: have money & energy, but no time
  3. Old age: have time & money, but no energy

There’s so much we want to do, but with so little money, so few friends nearby and my magical ability to continuously fail my driving test (why can’t we humans just develop supersonic ambulation and limitless stamina??), there’s not really much within our reach at the moment. Of course, I’m lucky to have a family that is willing to give J and I this time together without pushing us straight into the working world, but I am beginning to get just a little stir crazy…

As for the future: in December, we’re going back to Stockholm to stay with J’s family over the holidays (min första svensk jul, exciting!) and then… well, I’m really not sure. J will likely stay behind whilst I head back to England – at least one of us needs to start earning money and I need to decide whether or not I want to start my deferred university course next year or head into the workforce myself – and after six months (the longest we’ve ever spent together in the 2+ years we’ve known each other) we’ll be apart again. That’s going to feel weird.

But, on a more positive note, I really feel like my Swedish is improving! Against all my expectations, my understanding of speech has come on in leaps and bounds – the last few times J spoke to his mother on the phone, I’ve found following the conversation quite easy. J was just as pleased as I was when he realised I could understand!

And whilst I’m apprehensive about what lies ahead, time will inevitably keep ticking away and decisions have to be made. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to look back at my uncertainty and laugh 🙂





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